October 23 is His Birthday

I always love to write a blog post on his birthday as an act of remembering him even though he left us so soon I believe he is still always with us, not in physical entity but in spirit. I may grow old every minute of the day until someday I am almost as wrinkled as he and I always feel so betrayed having his same familiar face printed in my memory that never grows older and grayer. I would like to think that you, Papa, is very lucky when I hold the arms of old sick bedridden patients lying on their deathbed as I take their blood pressure and thinking how cold and weak they are. I pity them and I cannot imagine if you were in their shoes. No, I don’t want to take care of you when you get really really old and I thank the Lord He never let you suffer like those ailing people who wish they were dead. But we always wish you were here, cooking your most tasteless dishes, eating with your bare hands, wearing your plain white shirts, drinking your wine on special occasions, driving your car with us. Sometimes, I envision you sitting next to me as we watch current events on TV. We are silent and I think how perfect it could be–having and seeing you existing before my eyes. It is roughly five years since our last chat.

Happy birthday to him today. He is always missed, remembered, loved, forever.

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