Photograph

Gazing at his old photograph is like smelling the wistful scent of his freshly laundered orange shirt, the sweet odor of budding roses in the front yard, the cool air and the familiar sound of pouring rain in the midnight, chirping of birds and the tune of our favorite music. Soothing as a mentholated gum. Crispy as a hot fried bacon. Too lucky he will not suffer the fear of getting old, having ravaged by time gradually must melancholy evolve into wrinkled fragile ugly old man. He’ll be perpetual young, free, happy, silly, wild, full of life. This year, we’ll be on the same age—twenty four, and I shall have what he had—like I’m making him reborn through my mind, heart, soul. I will be he. He will speak through my lips, think through my mind, love through my heart. Like a dream. Like a happy ever after dream.

Life is unfair, but don’t make life harden your heart. No, sister, never.

In some of my forgotten dreams, I envision you talking to me like this with your cheerful voice sounds like heaven, feels like heaven. Your voice echoes, a resounding symphony, unspeakable solace, colorful as rainbows, innocent as clouds but full of wisdom, honesty, nostalgia, zest—just plain zest. Do you know I miss you, dear?

I don’t want you to think about me so much. Past was cruel. Life was cruel.

I remember you in my happy days, think of you when I look back on my childhood. You had become part of it. Huge part of it.

When someone passes away we remember history. We remember every bit of mirth we felt. Every bit of it.

For heartache and pain and struggles no one can ever fathom, you inspire me, man.

Inspire is a big word.

You know that I will not get tired of writing stuff like this about you, bro. Yeah, inspire is a big word, a big word, and you’re a big word to me. Next year I’m gonna be older than you, got more gray hair, more wrinkled, uglier, and yeah, you’ll have the similar handsome face with the same trace of youth and cleverness; life is certainly unfair. And I will always remember the sweet old history of us as I play our favorite music. Matchbox Twenty. Semisonic. Smash Mouth. Red Hot Chili Pepper. Vertical Horizon. 

Uh-huh, same old crap of yours.

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